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Many in recovery believe that addiction is a disease of isolation.* During this extraordinary and unavoidable interruption of life, recovery is even more challenging and requires many different (and new) resources to get by, along with self-reflection and gratitude for what is working. Our current state of quarantine may intensify the cravings to self-medicate. This includes both substance addictions (overusing alcohol, drugs, prescription pills, etc.) and process addictions (overspending, compulsive sex, over-exercise, etc) to numb painful feelings. In addition, quarantine has become a barrier for people in recovery to attend in-person support groups like AA or NA which provide fellowship, community, and source of consistent emotional support. Deprived of external […]

We’re facing uncharted territory in the wake of a worldwide pandemic, with cities and even entire countries sheltering in place. Some of us have gotten ill and thankfully are recovering while many more of us know someone who has been affected. Everybody is living in the “new normal” of uncertainty coupled with isolation and possible economic concerns. In addition, social distancing and navigating relationships in close quarters pose great challenges. No one prepared us for the disruption of our daily routines and increased time spent at home. This adjustment may create strain on marriages or with family members. It may feel like we’re deprived of our freedom, and shortcomings in […]

What does it mean to live authentically? Being authentic means coming from a genuine place, especially when our actions and words are consistent with our beliefs and values. Living an authentic life can foster greater resilience, self-love, and can lead to a strong feeling of purpose. However, learning to live authentically is a lifelong process and often involves hard work. To achieve authenticity, it is important to both know ourselves and own ourselves*. Listening to your inner voice, discerning the intricacies of your feelings, and trusting your own intuition are vital. Authenticity requires us to be able to overcome our desire to “fit in” and be part of the crowd. The […]

Love can be exciting and can make us feel whole, but sometimes we can use love like a drug and cause ourselves and others harm. Love addiction is a type of process addiction, a compulsive behavioral addiction that typically cannot be totally abstained from like alcohol or drugs, but can still feel as out of control and can cause significant damage both internally and externally. Individuals with love addiction can find themselves addicted to the euphoria linked with new relationships or the intensity of being in unhealthy relationships. Have you ever thought to yourself, ‘this relationship is not good for me, but I can’t keep myself from going back’ or […]

“The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.” – Melody Beattie We’re about to embark on a new decade, and we have the opportunity to view 2020 as a fresh start. We can begin this process by first conceptualizing the change you’d like to see transpire in your life. Then, ask yourself some questions – How will I get there? What steps do I need to take? Cultivating goals and healthy habits into your life can help pave the road for future happiness and success. Making healthy choices can increase our quality of […]

The holidays can be both joyful and challenging, especially for people early in their recoveries. As 2019 draws to a close, it can be helpful to take time to reflect on the past year. Reviewing what you’ve accomplished, and also what you are ready to let go of, may help create space for closure of the decade and help welcome 2020 with a fresh mindset. A great benefit of self-reflection is that it provides a better overview and can help to process events in your life – knowing that they are in the past may create hope for the upcoming year. Turning everything over to a power greater than yourself […]

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie Thanksgiving can be a time to reflect on the year and express gratitude to people, places and things that have served us well. Gratitude is a habit we can develop as we learn to recognize and express appreciation to all aspects of life, not only when things go the way we want them to. As life naturally ebbs and flows, we can be mindful of what we are grateful for to help cope with feelings of frustration or negativity. If the gratitude mindset is a struggle to introduce, perhaps begin by […]

It was Bill Wilson, the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, who called emotional sobriety the “next horizon” to be met once physical sobriety is achieved.  Emotional sobriety is often considered the foundation of all recovery. When our emotions are out of control, so is our thinking. Until we deal with the buried feelings that caused the addictive behavior, our lives and our relationships may feel unmanageable. The ability to self-regulate, know appropriate boundaries, and deal with life on life’s terms are all parts of emotional sobriety. Gaining emotional sobriety helps us feel more confident, less insecure, and acts as a framework for maintaining abstinence. It is an evolving process, but when you […]

Hello everyone, I’m really thrilled to be joining The Inner Stage. I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and share a bit about my work. My path to becoming a therapist was a bit roundabout. I’ve always been interested in people more than anything: specifically, the ways that we connect with others, struggle, and grow. When I was younger this interest took the form of creative writing: mostly poems, short stories, and the odd fragment of a novel. In college I majored in Education, intrigued by how our schooling system fosters (or fails to foster) community, respect, and trust. I loved researching and writing about how building interpersonal […]

“The only person you can now or ever change is yourself. The only person that it is your business to control is yourself.” – Melody Beattie As Melody Beattie, co-dependency expert, asks…is your partner’s problem your problem? Have you found yourself in relationships with people you feel you need to fix? Do you work at jobs where you are the “good sport” who will handle things that no one else wants to? Are you often tending to your partner’s life, losing sight of your own feelings and desires? Co-dependency is a behavioral pattern which can affect an individual’s ability to have healthy, mutually fulfilling relationships in all parts of life. If you […]